When someone says, "Friend," I can’t help but feel a bit unsettled. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the word—I’ve used it myself—but it always reminds me of the somber final exchange between Jesus and Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane. The moment an empty kiss took place.
"Immediately Judas went to Jesus and said, "Greetings (rejoice), Rabbi!"
And he kissed Him [in a deliberate act of betrayal].
Jesus said to Judas, "Friend, do what you came for."
Then they came and seized Jesus and arrested Him."
- Matthew 26:49-50
In that moment, it’s hard not to detect a trace of irony in Jesus’ tone and choice of words. Was it intended to cut through to Judas’ heart, fully aware of the betrayal he was about to commit? Or could it have been Jesus’ way of saying, “I forgive you, even now, despite what you are about to do.” Whatever the true depth of this term of endearment, it’s a powerful reminder that brings this verse to life every time:
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern],
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve hidden agenda]."
- Proverbs 27:6
"As iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion]."
- Proverbs 27:17
The process of sharpening is rarely comfortable. Just as iron sharpens iron through friction, grinding, and wear, we too are refined by life's challenges and the rough edges of our interactions with others. Often, heat is applied, and we know how tough it can be to endure the pressure of the fire. Yet, the beauty of this process lies in its purpose: both pieces of metal—and by analogy, both people—become sharper, stronger, and more effective.
Even so, both metals need to return to the rock to restore their edges and prevent overuse. For us, that rock is Jesus. When friendships bring wear and tear, when conversations feel heavy, or when interactions become difficult, it’s okay to pause and bring it all to Jesus. He is our source of renewal. As long as our relationships aim to nurture us spiritually, God will refresh us and prepare us to re-enter the sharpening process, ready to grow and strengthen each other once again.
The story of Judas teaches us a profound lesson: not all displays of affection or flattery come from a place of genuine friendship. This is why we are called to exercise discernment in all our relationships. While it’s natural to seek connections that make us feel good, relationships serve a much deeper purpose. They are meant to teach us, challenge us, support us, confront us, and ultimately shape us into the image of Christ.
Judas’ betrayal, coming so soon after his kiss, serves as a timeless reminder that flattery and agreement are not always loving. True friendships challenge us to go beyond ourselves, shaping us into the image of Christ. Flattery is fleeting, but a true friend won't be afraid to confront - not just give empty kisses.
Sincerely Selena
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